For every girl out there, or for anyone really (especially if you’re in your early twenties)…
A review of Dolly Alderton’s memoir “Everything I know about love”
This book completely absorbed me. I became obsessed with Dolly Alderton and her writing within the first couple of chapters. And for the few days that this book lasted me, it was constantly on my mind. I took every opportunity I could to read, caught myself thinking about Farly and Dolly; admiring their adventures and their beautiful friendship. So I am not quite sure that it is fair to call this a book review, it may be more accurate to say that it is a recommendation. For every girl out there, or for anyone really (especially if you are in your early twenties).
To me, “Everything I know about love” is a brilliant collection of anecdotes that define just what it means to be a young girl trying to navigate through early adulthood and everything that comes with it. In this book, Alderton touches on a wide range of topics that I believe play important roles in most young women’s lives. She not only writes about love and female friendship but also addresses her relationship to food and alcohol, loneliness, feminism and loss. All in all, “Everything I know about love” is a clever, thoughtful, funny and honest piece on the highs and lows of being twenty-something and trying to find your place in the world.
The chapters in the book all describe different parts of Aldertons life, and in a chronological order she shares personal stories from her messy teens, her wild years at Exeter University, and her first few years living in London. In an interview she describes how all these stories are based on real events, although the names of the boys mentioned have been changed to ensure their anonymity. Throughout the book Alderton also summarises her thoughts on love at different stages in her life and these become funny reminders that definitely give you some perspective and emphasise how certain ways of thinking can change over time. The book is also filled with a number of recipes of foods that seem to symbolise certain times or events in her life, and I think they provide a nice little insight to her life that otherwise would have been missed. The fictional emails, and transcriptions of ironic text messages I am, however, a little unsure of. To me, these chapters didn't really add anything to the story and I found them quite pointless. These fictional aspects are, however, a minor part of the book and as a whole the majority of it revolves around Dolly Alderton herself.
“
this romanticised version of life would have felt hollow without her ability to write about the lows in such a moving way
”
One of the strongest parts of this book is, however, the way Alderton beautifully captures early adulthood in a very entertaining, yet real and relatable, manner. The way she opens up about her personal struggles allows for insecurities to shine through, and the way she has the courage to write about times when she has felt the most vulnerable and lost is admirable. It is also, perhaps, the very factor which makes her so likeable. Aldertn not only comes off as clever and funny but also as very human and down-to-earth. I think this is an important part of the book, as her raw honesty when it comes to hardships is necessary for weighing up for the many crazy stories that romanticise university life, partying and drinking. These stories, that mostly take place at Exeter University and during her first years in London, are however truly entertaining and Dolly certainly made me feel very nostalgic about my own time at university. Yet, this romanticised version of life would have felt hollow without her ability to write about the lows in such a moving way. Consequently, I think one of the things I loved about this book was Dolly’s ability to create a perfect balance between writing about the exciting as well as the difficult parts of growing up.
Another big part of this book, and one of the reasons I found it so inspiring, is the way Alderton so lovingly describes all of her close friends in a vivid, colourful way. Although the book is about ‘love’ it is not solely about romantic love, and Alderton writes a lot about the love she feels for all the other people that she holds close. The importance of female friendship is also emphasised, particularly towards the end when Dolly realises that although she seems to have ‘failed’ with romantic love, she has been very successful when it comes to establishing and maintaining loving relationships with her friends. This moment of realisation, which seemed to be Alderton’s attempt to round off the book and tie things together was, however, quite cheesy and I found myself a little disappointed in the last few chapters. Although she certainly made a good point when highlighting the importance of cherishing your friendships, I felt that she lost something towards the end. Like an instant crush that slowly fades, I was no longer as eager to continue reading as I had been at the start. However, I do love the way this memoir celebrates female friendship and sisterhood and as a whole I adored it.
Finally, I must say that I found “Everything I know about love” quite cinematic. Alderton’s way of writing made me feel as if I was observing all that was happening, and I was fascinated by her ability to make stories, as well as her friends’ personalities, come alive in writing. Having read the book I felt as if I had met them all myself. Perhaps the cinematic feel also had something to do with how much this memoir reminded me of the American series Girls. It almost felt like a British version of the series (with slightly more alcohol involved) and similarly to Girls, “Everything I know about love” also describes an aspiring writer trying to navigate through life, hoping to find love, surrounding herself with girlfriends and adventure. And similarly to Lena Dunham’s show, Alderton’s book is one that cannot be missed – because the way she so cleverly pinned down the highs and lows of what it means to be a young girl truly made me feel less lonely in the world. Therefore, I believe that “Everything I know about love” is not only an entertaining and inspiring book but also one that many people can find to be a comfort in a time of doubt and twenty-something confusions about love and life. And whatever preferences you have when it comes to books – I think everyone has something to learn from Dolly.
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