Gender is not a given, but for a long time, the extent of gender diversity has been greater than we have been able to put into words. Although our vocabulary is still far from perfect, we have seen progress in recent years. Each new label matter because each one promotes inclusivity. As people are given the opportunity to describe their experience, they are also given a sense of belonging, which is something everyone deserves to experience regardless of their gender identity. But for that feeling of acceptance to take form, the label itself is not enough. We also need to develop a common understanding of the terminology and normalise the use of it. Unfortunately, new terminology tends to be met with misconceptions and prejudice, often as a result of lack of knowledge or intimidation. Therefore, it is time to set the record straight.

Let’s start with the basics: establishing the difference between ‘sex’ and ‘gender’. Historically, these terms have been used interchangeably, which is why there is still much confusion when it comes to telling them apart. But if we move forward to today’s society, we will find that there is a clear difference between the two.

‘Sex’ is a biological definition, meaning that it is determined by biological characteristics such as genitalia and genetic differences. ‘Gender’ on the other hand, has nothing to do with a person’s biology. This term is harder to pinpoint but is mainly used about personal and cultural perceptions of what it means to be a man/woman, which is also known as gender roles. These are socially constructed characteristics, and because they are based on social norms and stereotypes they can change over time and vary by culture.

When we talk about gender identity, we are referring to an individual’s view of their own gender. One’s gender identity is a personal and internal understanding that can be expressed through name, pronouns, clothing, etc. These are external cues that our society will identify as more or less masculine/feminine based on the existing gender roles of that time and place.

When we understand the difference between these terms, it becomes clear that a person’s gender identity does not necessarily have to line up with their genetically assigned sex. In fact, there is a spectrum of gender identities that are not exclusively masculine or feminine. We use the word ‘non-binary’ (or ‘genderqueer’) as an umbrella term for the spectrum of gender identities that are outside the traditional gender binary. It includes people who do not label their gender, those who identify as having two or more genders and those fluctuating between genders. This spectrum is based on the idea that masculinity and femininity are not two mutually exclusive categories like the traditional gender binary suggests, but rather a continuum.

While we are on the topic of misconceptions, many confuse the meaning of the term ‘non-binary’ with the term ‘genderfluid’. Those who are genderfluid are on the non-binary spectrum, and it means that the person fluctuates between more than one gender, or between having gender and not having one. They might identify as a man one day, and a woman the next. Another misconception is that being genderfluid is the same as being transgender. People who describe themselves as transgender identify with the opposite sex of the one they were genetically assigned with at birth. This gender identity does not rely on whether or not a person undergoes sex reassignment surgery.

While we now have made sense of some of the terminology related to gender, one thing is clear: The number of genders goes far beyond the ones mentioned in this article. Doing further reading on the different definitions existing within the non-binary spectrum is therefore recommended if you wish to be an ally or are searching for a definition that suits you.

Finally, it should be mentioned that gender identity does not have anything to do with sexuality. Like with sexuality, gender is a spectrum, but do not mistake gender identity for sexuality.

Many struggle with understanding the non-binary spectrum, which is understandable considering how gender identity is left out of school curriculums. Furthermore, when it is represented in the media it is often a part of a shocking storyline. Because of this, gender identity that goes beyond the traditional gender binary is often stigmatised, and people with such an identity are seen as merely ‘attention seekers’. This proves just how important representation and normalisation is in the battle against misconceptions and prejudice.

Understanding the terminology is the first step to becoming an ally. Now repeat after me: “My identity is my identity, and I will accept and respect others for who they are.” Knowledge will always help deepen our understanding of the world around us, but even when we do not understand something, we can still accept it. Focus on being open to the fact that there are other experiences in the world that deserves recognition besides your own.

Supporting normalisation and representation of non-binary gender identities is crucial because it will make those it concerns feel more accepted, consequently making it easier for them to be open publicly about their gender identity. Luckily, there are many ways to show your support. Make sure non-binary voices are heard by supporting transgender authors writing about the transgender experience, as well as movies casting non-binary actors for non-binary roles. Work on your own understanding of gender— e.g. do not expect a certain pronoun until proven otherwise. Being an ally can also be something as simple as showing support of gender-neutral bathrooms even if it does not personally impact you, or making a donation to trans rights organisations if you have an extra buck.

The fact that you have taken the time to read this article and work on your understanding of gender identity is a great step in the right direction. Keep on being curious about the spectrum of gender identities and definitions, and remember to listen to those around you.